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| aite, aite. josh told me to post something on this. i'll keep it short so that people will actually read it =P
so i came out with a new "album!" yeah. honestly, the reason why i'm so excited about it is because before this summer, i pretty much gave up hope of being a christian music artist. it was a piece that just didn't fit into what i thought was meant for me. but then my uncle showed me how to record on the keyboard, and my brother's gonna help me contact some record companies. so this album is sort of like my demo.
college soon. last couple days to get everything wrapped up. sorry if i didn't tell you guys, but sunday was my last day at wcac. i didn't want to make a big deal of it, because i had just come back...you know, "hey ray, bye ray." but if you wanna hang out this week, i am very, very free.
then friday i'm off. it's been great. i've said all i need to say, through scrapbook messages, through short talks with you. i mite send off an email too before i leave.
~Ray~
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| ...Yeah, I should probably supplement that.
So the previous post here
is an example of one of the many scholarships that I'm applying for
this year. They range from essays, to writing, to pictures, to music,
to grades, to being Asian. It's pretty interesting stuff.
All
this...college application and all, it actually is pretty interesting
stuff. I mean, if I had the time, I would visit all the college sites,
and look at their programs and all, and compare their rankings, and
find out more about them. All the unknown colleges that you never
really thought existed can be overturned with a simple search. But I
don't have the time. And I certainly don't know which college I'm going
to.
I thought I was pretty much set on my college choices...go
for NYU, Columbia, U of I and UIC, Wheaton, and maybe UPenn or Yale. It
was enough to handle. But then I went to a college fair on Saturday,
and there were so many other choices opened to me. Colleges everywhere
were offering me merit based scholarships, some even said I had a good
chance of getting a full ride. Right now, my main concern is MONEY. I
don't think I'll have trouble
getting into some of the schools I'm looking at in New York, but I
really do need the money for it. It's come to the decision between
settling for an inexpensive college in state (or around the area), or
going somewhere amazingly dynamic and new, such as, so to speak, New
York.
Other
than that, I pretty much have little time for myself. For the past two
weekends I thought I'd have a nice relaxing Saturday to get work done,
but both times I've had my parents whisk me off to places without much
warning. And so I hardly get much time to catch up on homework. Makes
for sleepless nights and tired days.
On the weekends I go to
Youth Group, which is pretty nice. Except I'm dealing with the junior
highers twice a week...once at Youth Group, and the other as a Sunday
school teacher. Both are okay, I guess. Preparing lessons is fun and
intriguing. Controlling the kids is difficult and neckbreaking. But I
actually really like it, because I love working with kids. My only
regret about all this is that when I bring new people to Youth Group
from my high school, I can't invite them to my discussion group,
because I don't have one! Complicates things a bit.
Emotionally...it's
kinda hard to say. I wrote up a reflection on the theme of strength,
but I'll summarize it here. Basically, I've been thinking about the
saying "You were given this life because you are strong enough to live
it." Doesn't that point to God? I think it does. God won't give us
anything that we can't handle. The thing is, then I sometimes wonder
about praying to God for strength. If God specifically designs us with
our capacity to deal with different situations, does He also purposely
give us strength? We aren't superhumans. Well, since I've obviously
been really tired lately, I've been praying to God for strength, and
surprisingly, there are times when I go to sleep at 1 and feel more
awake than I do when I go to sleep at 11. This strength I believe comes
from God. Still, I think about emotional strength, and I realize some
things we can't conquer just like that. I can testify to that
especially, because there are things in my life which I haven't
received strength from God to overcome, even though I've prayed
constantly. And strangely, it's the one thing that if taken control of
could bring me so much closer to God. If it's in God's will, then why
hasn't it happened yet? Huh. Well, I think the biggest strength comes
from knowing that God designed me to actually have the strength to get
through this. I haven't fallen away from faith just yet!
National
Day of Prayer for Creation Care is on Wednesday. Help raise awareness
and help serve our environment! But above all, take some time out of
the day to thank God for the things He's created.
~Ray~
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| That scar near my nose? Six years ago towards the end of sixth grade, we were signing yearbooks outside on a windy day. My pen exploded, so I had my friend hold my yearbook while I washed up inside. When I came back out, my friend tossed the yearbook to me, and it caught wind and hit my face. I had to get stitches, and that scar is now a part of me.
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| 3 books to read, one of them write a reflection on, the other two answer questions on
5 articles to read and summarize in Spanish
4 historical sites to visit and reflect on them
1 historical channel to watch and reflect on
1 historical movie to watch and reflect on
1 article to reflect on
5 internet sites to rate and create a favorites list
3 articles to "actively read"
...all in the next two weeks.
~Ray~
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| well, it's been a while since i've used this thing.
if anyone of you took that in any way differently than it was supposed to be, then i'll just have you know that i gave up "that's what she saids" as a new year's resolution =).
looking back on this school year, there have been so many things happening this year so far. some things aren't worth mentioning out of respect, though. but some examples are like the freak storm, the labor day tournament, kelly's farewell, the writer's strike was a big one, central's variety show, the amazing ap lang group presentation, homecoming, the musical, turnabout, and all the crazy things i've done for math team.
chyea. sounds kool. thats great. whatever.
you know, looking back on it all, none of it really reflects any of my spiritual growth. it's strange, because i'm not too open about my life anyways anymore. you wouldn't have suspected anything, right? it wouldnt have been fair if i didn't let you guys know, though, that somehow, it works out this way: i don't get close to anyone, and i don't get hurt. that's what i've really come down to in this past year. maybe i just need to get away from close friendships for a while. just keep being energetic and excited and enthusiastic. i just got through a tough weekend, and normally i would have said that it was the youth group that helped me get back on my feet...but strangely, somehow, i've learned to do that on my own. my trials have been more between me and god.
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